it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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