I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
