he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
