Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
