Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't trust your balls anymore.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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