I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
