:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
