So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
