I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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