I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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