they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
