I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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