My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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