Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize