You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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