hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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