What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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