I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
