But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
