what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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