Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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