Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
