he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
