I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
