rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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