Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
