I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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