I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
