margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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