Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
