he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize