We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
worst night to have a conscience
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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