so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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