Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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