then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
