I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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