I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
