So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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