I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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