your room smells of hookers.
And success
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
