You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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