someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
