Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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