spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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