It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
