"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am naked and annoyed.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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