True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I supernannyed him into submission
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