What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
