You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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