why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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