put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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