We won't sleep together?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize