I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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