I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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