I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
