as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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