umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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