therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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