Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My ass is underappreciated
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
