Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
