he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
