i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
