I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
