go do what you do best...puke behind churches
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
