i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
