Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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