he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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