Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
