Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize