You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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