I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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