Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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