the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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