Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
