epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize