I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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